December 2009
38 posts
a thousand winters melting
the streets are filled with angels walking by my side and every time I listen close I hear their footsteps quickly run and hide it’s all a bit confusing impossible at best but when I walk alone at night I feel their holy presence lift my head love, love, a thousand winters melting love, yes love, as you wrap your arms around me they wait for us to listen to the voices we can’t see they...
note to self
albums to purchase:
white lights - deas vail (m)orning - mae future of forestry being there - wilco with arrows, with poise - the myriad come now sleep - as cities burn conditions - the temper trap
go easy little doves
“On a day when the wind is perfect, The sail just needs to open And the love starts.
Today is such A day.”
loneliness sweeps in through my open window. is this a facade? how can this be? i am never alone!
grandma
is the saddest person i know.
reminder
so this is christmas. something had to save humanity from themselves. the solution? god puts skin on to show the world what love looks like. here’s the catch: the prince of peace is born as a refugee in the middle of a genocide and is rescued from the trash bin of imperial executions to stand at the pinnacle of this peculiar people. a strange way to start a revolution. king herod, the powerful...
remember our saviour
don’t lose anything on someone who isn’t it. be the woman who delights in the Lord at all times. and then the only way you’ll want a boy is when the Lord shows you who it is I heard a quote (probably from you) something about the girl’s heart being so lost in the Lord that the guy has to go through Him to find it when you despair because you don’t see when or how....
save the day
i am sitting here. i am resting my body on this grey carpet. i close my eyes and open them. the carpet turns to mud. i long to be sitting in a village somewhere with some smiling, faithful children. melancholy seeps in. it is becoming an increasingly familiar emotion for me. i feel like i am at the peak of feeling alive when i am experiencing discomfort.
i am growing and believing more intensely...
handmade
iamacatlady:
i look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous. your handmade sky-jewelry, moon and stars mounted in their settings.
then i look at my micro-self and wonder, why do you bother with us? why take a second look our way?
Watch
amour, joie
wake up! it is dreamweaving day grab your books and your brains and think away muster up your inspiration and muster up your courage do not let fear tear you from yourself the sky is your limit your heart is the only thing holding you back easily deceived! there are no limits and your heart pushes you forward with every forceful beat maybe the sky is where you will rest sit in the clouds and take...
my mom leads to learn how to ask nicely.
wonder-dummied
you are my strength. i won’t stand alone.
like a hurricane
someday you’ll find me where the darkness grows from your light and the waters flow like rivers to your oceans and your heart, your heart it’s breaking mine to pieces
moving mountains
you know it’s really hard to do, to think of anyone but you and how your soul lives in my own the trees are growing roots that will hold your heart inside your chest where you lay fear no more my son, because someday the trees will sing and I know that someday will come, where the trees are growing roots among the place we used to sit and breathe the air. Someday, someday the trees will...
oceans
i want you to care about me the way i care about you, as flawed as that sounds. i don’t want to let you go.
my daily struggle: being more confused than the day before.
your smile spreads to another, and another after...
with the thought that it’s only love if it’s loving you back.
my eyes are closed, and your hand is there. you’re so beautiful, in this room above. where the paint is peeling and i realize that i’m in pain.
a smile that’s so much bigger than all the smiles that i have seen, and it makes me realize that there is so much more than what i’ve seen.
stay
you fill my heart and you fill my cup. “i said drink it and i’ll fill you up.” hallelujahs rolling out, out of my mouth. your love, it covers me. - jacob and lily.
i am on an adventure in my mind to find a word that describes my life. how i long for that assurance, that security; if somebody asks, i will have an answer. one day, maybe.
if you ask me to describe my soul today,...
blindsided
if he would grow a pair and chase god and pick me up along the way that would be cool.
lost girls
you have this way of leaving me without words. i just want to lay with you and synchronize our minds and figure out the universe to the capacity that our puny brains can take. i wish i could rub your tummy better and lift your heart back up to where it belongs in your chest, but i am not allowed access. only god can access the heartstrings. but i can wish, and i can pray, and i can demand that he...
feeling the pull
i need to escape. i want my destination to be your arms. i want your mind to want mine.
alas, i must love you selflessly. but if i could be selfish, i’d give you the letters i’ve been writing for years and prepare a life with you by my side.
but my story is written for me, and i must chase the pacemaker.
some things i learned today
- christianity is not escapism - watch the farmers. faithfulness, patience. - an occasion for joy: when you face trials. - i like that the bible doesn’t gloss over or paint a superhuman christian. - it is in the moment that we cry out, “revive our church” that people leave the church. but “perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not...
spektor
Things outlive people Love outlives things People outlive Love I run from all of it I fall asleep underneath all of it I am a sleepwalker on these city streets I go in circles in these squares I almost died for art. I almost died for Timbits. Have I ever almost died for Love?
i am
How do some people stay in perpetual motion? all I ever seem to want to do is slow down amongst achievers, I am nothing amongst nothing, I am nothing I want awards and claps and handshakes I want my name in the paper i want my words in print i want my face airbrushed for a magazine I want titles and business cards I want someone to buy something I’ve made I want to stand out I want to...
community
Why the nuclear family? The nuclear family and suburbia, and in fact the way society gears our entire lives (to be explained fully later) came about in large part because of the growing emphasis on “the private”, which began, I suppose, early on in the industrial revolution with the rise of the middle class. Having “privacy” was a luxury of the rich, the poor having to use...
“In one form only does she recognize me, the form of wife. In every other form...”
– leonard cohen, death of a ladies man
“Make beauty necessary, make necessity beautiful.”
– anne michael
“I noted that many people, when faced with art that they cannot understand, are...”
– natalie boustead
pioneers, oh pioneers →
feeling small against the sky tonight
your beauty makes me joyful and at the same time you make me sad. i can’t stop listening to that damn song.
i want to tear these curtains down. i want you to meet me somewhere tonight. i want to jump right in and see what that big ocean’s got.
educated
doing a little reading. tonight’s topics:
christian anarchism, pacifism, and leo tolstoy.
“is your love really love?
is my love really love?
i think our love isn’t love,...”