plenty of hills to climb

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On this Remembrance Day, I will think of all those young men—boys, really—who didn’t think of the possibility of death, who knew nothing of the disgust and nausea of killing, and didn’t anticipate a lifetime of nightmares and regret as they embarked on their “adventure.”

I will remember my grandfather, who stayed back to defend his village while the women and children fled, and was captured and thrown into a POW camp. He survived on intelligence and wit, this gentle, compassionate man who loved birds and cultivating his raspberries, who stayed silent about those years the rest of his life.

I will honour the memory of my indomitable grandmother, survivor of extreme poverty and near starvation during Stalin’s revolutionary madness, and then the terror of World War II bombing. With extraordinary courage and presence of mind she led her three small children from one refugee camp to another, narrowly escaping the trains to Siberia, until they arrived on this side of the Iron Curtain. She spent her life giving to others what she never had as a child and young woman.

I will think about the Bosnian, Serb and Croat veterans whose stories I have been reading. They speak with bitter remorse, sorrow and shame, but also surprise—at being manipulated into fighting an utterly senseless war—and they express the determination never to do so again.

I will pause for a moment of silence to honour the incalculable numbers of war rape victims since the world wars, women and men, whose torture may never be over, and for the children of these crimes, dead or alive, loved or unloved.

I will think about Innocent Rwililiza, who asked the Hutus why they didn’t just stop hunting Tutsis down with machetes and spend their days relaxing in the shade instead. They told him this was a good idea that hadn’t occurred to them: “From killing so much, we forgot to think about you.” (Jean Hatzfield, Life Laid Bare, 103)

I will honour the young refusniks in Israel who face imprisonment for failing to show up for their military service.

I will think of child soldiers the world over, who know not what they do.

I will honour all those survivors of war, rape, torture, imprisonment and abuse whose own private wars threaten to destroy them from the inside.

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Dr. Diane Enns